2:46pm on March 11, 2011 the ground started to shake, I was at my house. And suddenly my desktop computer fell on my lap, I felt goose bumps, and screamed for help, but I was inaudible. I felt a pang throughout my whole body, but I grappled to get it off from my lap. I had to run, and be fast to get out of there. I stood up, but I couldn’t walk, I was fitful, but I had to get out of my home, because it isn’t capacious and a lot of papers, and books were already all over the place, I didn’t know what to do, but scream and run outside. I saw the cars shaking.
The next 30 minutes were worst, at first I didn’t know what was going on until I saw my neighbors getting at out of their home, so I ran to their house, and moved my arms for them to see me, and my neighbor helped me get with them in their roof. He facilitated my way up to the roof, because he was adept at everything he was doing, because he knows a lot about all this natural events. It was crucial for all of us to stay close together and not near the edges of the roof and not slip, because we saw a huge 7-meter tsunami coming our way. I got so scared, I didn’t know what to do, but I had stay calm, and be fastidious to everything my neighbor was saying, because he was giving me advice of what not to do, and what to do in this occasions, although I could barely even listen, I had to be ready. I saw the tsunami running through our street, and I could see copious amounts of destroyed roofs, and car wheels going with the waves. It was the worst day of my life, I'll pray for everyone I know, and for myself, because this day was a day like no other in my life.
Wouldn't it be everything got worse and there are some mistakes but okay story
ReplyDeleteGood use of the words, and commas! There are some places were you could've used semicolons, but overall it's good! good job lol 0_o xD
ReplyDeletethank you for the comments XD I already corrected it thankyou jacob, and isabella:D
ReplyDeleteI loved how you really drag the reader in, especially with the dramatic punctuation. :P
ReplyDeleteGreat job!